Purging Myself From the Internet

 

No More "Likes"

There was a time when I was an evangelist for the Internet. No longer.  I had a moment.  I saw all the crap on my news feed, which now looks like a ruptured sewage line in my garden. New people mysteriously show up as my friends on FB.  

So, I have decided to review, revoke, reduce and recycle my friends and followers. I will cull my news feed from all politically correct sites. I will no longer tolerate any material having to do with anyone's God.

There are too many photos of cute animals, peaceful settings and posters of clouds. It's like we've all been given a dose of Ambien along with our purple Kool-Aid.

Gone from my sites will be many “friends” or “followers” who invite me to join games. Who has that kind of time? To those who never commented on my blog posts. Gone.

I no longer want to be tagged.

From the beginning, I wanted only one thing from my friends and followers: Amuse me. Nothing more. Nothing Less. Never try to sell me anything. 

In my moment from going from Saul to Paul, (this analogy is the only thing I learned from the Bible), maybe two people know my opinions on whether the Oakland A’s should get a new stadium or why Arsenal fans are a bunch of wankers. Or how I really feel about Brazil hosting the World Cup. 

I once enjoyed “sharing” my thoughts in blog posts, always trying to be original. Now, however, I feel irrelevant in a room full of invading space aliens.

Maybe it all began with the introduction of  “like”. This is starting to piss me off. I want to be “Loved”, or at least feared.  "Like" is an Ambien side-effect.

Giving a “like” is not as satisfying as giving a flirtatious wink to someone on a busy street corner or in a crowded elevator.  That is rare enough, but it is so much, much more intimate in reality.

I have had “friends” pass away. I miss many followers who disappeared.  I once enjoyed George Carlin quotes, and today I get Deepak Chopra.

Make no mistake, I am grateful for my good friends and supporters. With them, I know more about their lives than my own family. They can sustain me as any friend would who lived nearby. They already know I like them.

They will accept me as I find my way back to being amused.